Saturday, October 24, 2009

To get shot or not?

Approaching a serious catch-22 situation, and unless I take a stand now, this thing is going to get out of control.

It's about deciding to take the H1N1 vaccine. For a while I was sure I wasn't going to take it, but then since I am flying across the country in what will be close quarters with people I don't really know, I decided that I will.

I am not sure what my thought process is, but basically, if I don't take the shot, and get the flu and die, then all the arguments about what will happen to the baby are really moot, aren't they?

Somehow, right now I am more willing to take the risk of unknown effects than the known effect that pregnant women are very susceptible to the harmful effects of the flu.

Now only if the vaccine was in fact available..

Friday, October 23, 2009

Sitting at work, waiting for a to come pick me up..

I need something to do . Today wasn't an altogether waste but still. My fat fingers haven't yet adapted to the but butt keys of the iPhone but hey, I am managingbto type whole sentences out . Lunch was bad today ,.. Split pea soup which wa s essentially tasteless dal. Buy atleast the baby's wiggling keeps me amused..

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Reflections on day two

Love This.

Oddly, one of my mom's first reactions when I told her I was finally done..'so tell me now, how much longer did it REALLY take'..(she lost patience at year 4.. so for the past two years its been 'get it done with already')

Dad's first reaction when I told him I'll be staying back where I am and take up a lower paying job..'one must learn to dream a little bigger'..thanks..:| ..I can never ever dare to tell my parents that sometimes I feel like becoming a housewife. They will personally come here and kick my ass. Even though I am a 'grownup'.

But at least their expectations are intact. Never once did they even sneakily suggest I reproduce..Love my parents for the back-handed 'encouragement' they have been providing most of the time.. and the times when they really do come out and say that they are proud of me for what I've been doing..

It's Day Two

of NOT being a PhD student.. and I am going to go to the lab already. But its going to be to clear my desk out. Otherwise all I am going to do is

Go to buy a houseplant- the clover looks a little lonely..

Plant the bulbs I bought - indoor ones.. I work small scale.

It is VERY wierd, not having something to obsess about..I mean no more am I going to have to think about if the experiment I set up yesterday will or will not work. I am thinking of keeping plain 8-5 hours in my current job..and then come home and take care of ME. I may get a laptop from work, but I think now priorities have shifted. I me myself and family will come first and second depending on the situation, and work will come third, atleast for a while now.

In the long term, I need to get back into gardening mode. Recruit someone I know to teach me gardening in the ground.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

What next?

After 6 looooong years, I am finally done. Done with being a PhD student. Finally everyone can rest easy. My parents who were seriously worried about my mental health have now let a sigh of relief. Hopefully there wont be anymore crazies anymore.

They were hard. The past 6 years. At least twice everyday for the past 4 years, I felt like giving the whole thing up. And at least twice in the past 4 years I had seriously considered it. Now that its over, all those things seem so tiny. And getting through just seems so worthwhile. As if all that drama would have gone to waste had I given up midway through. At least now I have a degree to show for it. And a few publications.

I still don't know what I am going to do next. Right now, I am in a setting which lets me get an idea of how life would be if I were to join the industry.. but at the same time, some forces are making me consider the idea of teaching. And it isn't seeming so bad. I like to teach, and the people who teach me the teaching course certainly seem really excited about the profession. But would I want to go through the whole 6 years all over again, when I try to get tenure? I don't think so..

I do have a year to figure out what I want to do, and then another year to prepare my CV accordingly..

But as of now, as it is sinking in that I can;t say 'Sqrlnt, PhD student' anymore, i am confused about what my new identity will be. Oh well, at least for the next 4 months or so, it could be 'sqrlnt, mommy to be'. Unfortunately, I almost threw up from an overdose of maternity advice I might just be over that...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

It's my birthday

Unsually cheery and energetic today. Won't ask why, but capitalize on it.

Plan today:

1) Go over slides for presentation

2) Go to lab and printout copy of thesis

3) Sandwiches for lunch

4) Go to the library and return books, maybe get a new one.

5) Rehearse slides.

6) Anything else that may be required.

Note that there is no opening of gifts, going out for lunch etc. involved. That is all left for the next weekend..

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hello again

Just thought I should blog again. The last day in my twenties today. Don't know why it is such a landmark, except because now I can't taunt A about being a 30-something and me being only a 20-something.

But I guess they do deserve a look back. My twenties that is. My 'life plan' was derailed for 2 years, so my plans of having a PhD by the time I was thirty were down in the drain. But since that was only because of scheduling conflicts, I don't feel so bad. Atleast I am defending in the first week of my thirties, which is actually a good thing. All the drama in the 20s, and the finale in the 30s.

I also started a new job. It is the dhobi ka kutta type of a job, but hey it does pay me more, and I get to stay in the place I want. Not altogether a bad deal.

Other fun stuff happened in the 20s. More on that later.

If by any chance some people who know me happen to come by this post, I am REALLY very sorry I haven't kept in touch. Was quite the depressed little pup for the past 8 months or so. Will elaborate later, and call as well.